As the spectre of exam season is looms once again, it’s time to start revising – but how can parents help their children to get, or stay, motivated for revision without being perceived as the enemy? Conflict between parents and teenagers regarding schoolwork is common, says Nesma Luqman, Clinical Psychologist, Priory Wellbeing Centre, Abu Dhabi:
“The root causes are often different expectations and priorities. Parents may prioritise academic success, while teenagers may prioritise social activities. This conflict can lead to teenagers becoming defiant or disengaged, worsening tension within the family.”
The secret is to get inside the teenage brain, say psychologists. Mohamad Naamani, Clinical Psychologist, Priory Wellbeing Centre, Abu Dhabi. Mr Naamani explained to SchoolsCompared:
“The teenage brain is in flux. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for planning, reasoning, and decision-making, is still developing during adolescence. Teenagers thus tend to be more focused on short-term goals and instant gratification. As a result, some teenagers may struggle to understand the long-term benefits of studying – and may find it difficult to motivate themselves to revise.”
The news is not all doom and gloom however. By understanding the unique features of the adolescent brain, parents can identify techniques that are more likely to be effective – and avoid the ones that are likely to be counterproductive, or cause tension, in your own parent-child relationship.
Top Tip: Talk to Potatos
Scott Goldstein, Assistant Head of Secondary at Dubai Heights Academy had the SchoolsCompared.com team smiling with a brilliant, if quirky revision method.
“The most unusual revision technique that I have come across is “The Talking Potato Method”. A previous student of mine used to carry out the following routine:
Get a talking potato: Find a small toy potato or any other object you can easily hold in your hand.
Assign the potato as your study buddy: Pretend that the potato is your study buddy and that it loves to learn about your subjects just as much as you do.
Teach the potato: Sit down with your potato buddy and explain the concepts you’re studying out loud to it. Act as if the potato is eagerly listening and responding with enthusiasm.
Engage in dialogue: Have fun with it! Ask your potato questions and imagine its hilarious responses. Make the learning experience as interactive and entertaining as possible.
Review and recap: After your study session with the potato, recap what you’ve covered together. This reinforces your understanding of the material while adding a touch of whimsy to your revision routine.
While this method may seem silly, it encourages active engagement with the material and helps alleviate study-related stress through humor. It was clearly successful for the student as well as he went on to achieve 9s in every GCSE that he took!’
The Incredible Teenage Brain
In her book ‘The Incredible Teenage Brain’, neuropsychologist Dr Jane Gilmour and her colleagues pinpoint key features of the developing teenage brain that make it very different from the brains of younger children or adults. This includes:
- A need by teenagers for autonomy – to feel that they are in charge of their own destiny rather than its being imposed on them by schools or parents;
- A keen interest in their peers – to define role models they tend to look to what their friends are doing;
- An interest in how others perceive them – they want to both fit in and be perceived positively; as well as,
- Pursuing novelty-seeking and/or risk-taking behaviour.
While these all chime with the stereotypes we might have of teenagers, it’s important to realise that these are all important, defined, and predictable steps in the developmental process of your child’s brain; they are not in control of them, and they are necessary building blocks on the journey towards shaping the brain they will have as adults. However, it is also worth noting that, being at such a crucial stage of development, also makes teenage brains particularly vulnerable to negative life experiences.
So, how can we harness this knowledge and help to safeguard and motivate teens in the context of exam revision? Here are some tips of what to do (and what not to do) to help your teen revise…
Have high expectations
There’s a big difference between unhelpful pressure and helpful expectations.
Teens need adults around them who believe in them and have high expectations of them and their ability to do well. Dr Gilmour refers to a scientific study in which students who were given notes on an essay in either a ‘wise’ tone (‘I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them’) rather than a neutral tone (‘I’m giving you these comments so that you’ll have feedback on your paper’) were more than 50 per cent more likely to review and improve their essay. Dr Gilmour, also found that:
“[…] over a year later there were significantly fewer discipline problems for that same group of students. Changing a few words can impact significantly on the message received by adolescents and they will look for clues as to whether you believe they can do it.”
Don’t use threats
Constantly emphasising negative consequences can lead to feelings of anxiety, fear, and low confidence, which can have the opposite effect on teenagers’ study habits and motivation to study, says Mohamad Naamani, Clinical Psychologist, Priory Wellbeing Centre, Abu Dhabi:
“Fear-based messages are in fact less effective in motivating people to take action. While it’s important to highlight the possible disadvantages or consequences of not revising, it’s even more important to focus on the benefits of studying (e.g., personal growth, increased knowledge and skills).
Thus, it’s important to approach discussions about revision/studying in a non-judgmental and supportive manner.
Parents should therefore refrain from using threats or harsh language, as this may create a negative and unsupportive environment for the teenager and in turn discourage them from studying.”
Be a consultant, not a micromanager
While it might be tempting to ‘help’ by drawing up a revision schedule for your teenager and making sure they stick to it, this doesn’t teach them anything – and it’s more likely to backfire in the long run. “Address their need for autonomy by playing a consultative role, not telling them what to do,” said Dr Gilmour. Coach your child to write his or her own realistic revision timetable, with regular breaks scheduled in to provide motivation. This way they are more likely to stick to it and they remain in control – something the teenage brain craves.
Harness their need to see friends
Teenagers are programmed to want to spend time with their peers, so use this need to work with you, not against you. Create some variety in their revision schedule by arranging a regular study group, where their friends come over to work and you provide the snacks. If this isn’t practical, there are many apps and websites where students can study collaboratively, or even study live with peers online – just be sure to check the security of any websites they might be using to make sure you’re comfortable with it. Read about our selection of different study apps to help teens with revision here.
Inject some novelty into the repetition
We learn through repetition, so there’s no getting away from the fact that revision is going to be a bit ‘samey’. But the adolescent brain is hardwired to seek novelty – so give it to them in the form of a new study spaces. Take them out to a café or shared working office occasionally, rearrange their desk set-up, or encourage them to take their laptop outside for a change (studies show that nature may promote learning by improving learners’ attention, levels of stress, self-discipline, interest and enjoyment in learning).
Encourage positivity
“Encouraging a teenager to revise can be challenging, but parents can support their learning by setting clear expectations, creating a study-friendly environment, helping with time management, offering guidance and support, and celebrating achievements, “ says Nesma Luqman, Clinical Psychologist, Priory Wellbeing Centre, Abu Dhabi. “It’s important for parents to be positive and avoid negative approaches, instead creating an environment that encourages their teenager to take ownership of their learning and develop intrinsic motivation.”
Never compare
Resist the urge to compare your teenager’s revision progress or academic attainment with that of friends or siblings – either favourably or unfavourably. While this might put pressure on them, it’s unlikely to truly motivate them and is more likely to chip away at their self-confidence and undermine their sense of connection with you. The focus should always be on their own growth, not how they fare in comparison to other.
Be wary of bribery
Parents often incentivise their teenagers with money or treats to encourage them to revise, but this can create a dependency on external validation and harm their intrinsic motivation, says Nesma Luqman, Clinical Psychologist, Priory Wellbeing Centre, Abu Dhabi :
“It can also damage the parent-child relationship. However, external rewards can be useful in creating good study habits and recognising achievements when used consistently, fairly, and presented as positive reinforcement. It is important to be mindful of their presentation and to promote intrinsic motivation and a healthy attitude towards learning.
Intrinsic motivation means doing something because it is inherently interesting or enjoyable, rather than because you will receive an external reward or avoid punishment. When teenagers are intrinsically motivated to learn, they are more likely to engage in deep learning and retain knowledge in the long term. Additionally, intrinsic motivation is associated with positive emotional experiences and a greater sense of autonomy and competence.
To promote intrinsic motivation, parents can encourage their teenagers to find meaning in what they are learning, connect it to their interests and goals, and provide opportunities for autonomy and self-directed learning. Parents can also model a positive attitude towards learning and demonstrate how it can be enjoyable and rewarding in itself.”
Teach them to embrace stress
Dr Gilmour states that stress doesn’t always have to be negative, and that studies show that reframing stress can make participants’ experience of a stressful event more positive. “Model a ‘stress-embracing’ perspective around the family when you feel nervous before an event, for example, and talk about it in these terms. It’s important to remember that brief periods of stress are very different from chronic stress which is feeling overwhelmed day after day – this type of stress is toxic for the developing brain.”
Check your own anxieties before projecting them on to your teen
Often our own anxieties about our teenagers’ academic progress and its impact on their future can affect the way we react. But this is not what your teen needs: they need a stable, calm pillar of support and encouragement, not a source of panic and pressure that is having a hard time with stress themselves. Talk through your own worries with your spouse, friend or therapist, and then put them to one side, so that you can be fully present for your child.
More Expert Revision Tips, Courtesy of Dubai Heights Academy
If talking potatoes are a step too far, why not try a few more of these expert revision tips, passed to us by Scott Goldstein of Dubai Heights Academy.
- Create a Revamp Zone: Dedicate a cozy corner in your home solely for revising. Make it inviting with comfy cushions, motivational posters, and their favorite snacks to make revision feel like a retreat rather than a chore.
- Tech-Friendly Revision: Explore interactive revision tools and apps tailored to your child’s learning style. From gamified study platforms to interactive quizzes, leveraging technology can make revising more engaging and effective.
- Host a Revision Social: Turn study sessions into social events by hosting a “revision social” with your child’s friends. Encourage collaborative learning, where they can quiz each other, share revision tips, and motivate one another in a relaxed setting.
- Practice Mindful Revision: Incorporate short mindfulness exercises before revision sessions to help your child stay focused and calm. Simple breathing exercises or guided meditations can promote a positive mindset for effective revision.
- Encourage Creative Expression: Encourage your child to express what they’ve learned creatively. Whether through doodles, songs, or storytelling, creative outlets can deepen understanding and make revising more enjoyable.
- Move and Revise: Recognise the importance of movement breaks during revision sessions. Encourage short bursts of physical activity like dancing or stretching to re-energise and enhance focus.
- Celebrate Milestones: Create a “revision milestone” board where your child can track their progress. Offer small rewards or treats for reaching each milestone, fostering motivation and a sense of accomplishment.
Read more about study secret to exam success here and how to get out of an exam revision rut here.
Further help
If you find yourself struggling, why not post to other parents on our Parents United Group and forum. You can meet up with other parents and post your questions here.
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